Articles tagged with "Breaking Through Fear"
As a man, when you have never worn high heels or boots outdoors before... How do you start?
When it comes to wearing heels or boots there are generally two types of men - the ones who are already out there doing it, because they just decided one day to wear them, and there are the others, like you, dear reader, who need more confidence and perhaps a different approach.
Buy in-store or order online?
Get your shoes delivered to your door. Actually getting heels or boots in the first place can be a problem if you're not comfortable trying them on in a shop, though that will come in time. There are plenty of sources on the web to buy from. Just check their returns policy carefully before you buy so that if they don't fit well, you will be able to return them for a refund. Many retailers now even offer free delivery and free returns, so it really couldn't be easier.
The higher the heel and the brighter and more colourful the footwear, the more attention you're going to get, so start with a pair of dark coloured low heeled boots or shoes. Initially you might feel that EVERYONE is going to look at you. That is just in your head. Wear heels made for men in the first instance if that helps it may just give you the faith to step outside and then you can build your confidence. In any case, just remember that gender is a social construct and that clothes and shoes have no gender.
Go out with a purpose
Having a purpose to going out in your heels or boots will give you something to focus on other than the fact you have some different footwear on. Quick shopping trips can be useful and will get you used to being outside in heels or boots.
Take a short trip
While you're still finding your feet, so to speak, you may want to avoid bumping into someone you know while trying your shoes in public. To vastly reduce this as a possibility, take a short trip outside of your local area and wear your heels or boots there. Take them with you in bag and change into them when you get there if you have to. Being able to do this will give you lots more confidence quickly.
Don't over-think it
Before you step outside you'll likely be running through so many scenarios of what MIGHT happen... almost all of it won't happen and if you've already built up your confidence by the time it does happen, you will be ready to handle it. As Susan Jeffers, Author of 'Feel the Fear (and do it anyway)' says "the only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it".
Be yourself & act normally
You are doing something normal, it's just not normal to you... yet, so that may feel a little odd at first. Just go about your business "as if" you have always worn the heels you have on, even if you have not. If someone does mention your shoes (it's quite unlikely actually), then just say you've always worn heels, that it's just your style and you like to be individual.
You're stronger thank you think you are. You've got this!
Posted: 13 November 2022