Articles tagged with "Be Yourself"

UK Newspaper Daily Mail reports on the "unusual" relationship of Maren Butler (@marenn.x) and James Carrington (@jxcx3). The pair met on TikTok, James a feminine presenting man and Maren, a masculine presenting woman. Challenging many social and gender norms in the process the pair have formed a long-lasting relationship.

From the article:

"Maren said: 'I remember seeing James' video and thinking he was so cool.

'It was his confidence and his androgynous look that was so appealing to me.

'I left a comment on his video thinking he wouldn't respond but in less than an hour he replied and we started chatting.

'Before James, I'd only dated girls but I've always been attracted to fem-men because I love the combination of confidence and femininity.

'He has a pretty face and pretty smile, what's not to love! It's an unusual pairing but we're so happy.' "

Original URL: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-11481251/Masculine-woman-feminine-boyfriend-discuss-unusual-relationship.html

I do get looks and people's expressions are often puzzled, but then they are seeing something that they are not used to seeing so that is going to take some thought to process how they feel about it. You are breaking social stereotypes and to a lot of people this will be something new and can feel threatening to them.

If you are different, and let's face it, it's not hard to be different when you're a man wearing high heeled shoes or boots, then you are going to stand out from the crowd a little and attract some attention. The vast majority of men wearing heels don't actually want any attention, we just want to live authentically and wear the clothes and shoes which we like.

The key here is confidence. When you feel good about what you are wearing before you go out, that will show through. Express yourself authentically and you will have the rock solid belief in what you are doing. Go about your business as normal and remember that you are not responsible for the version of you that is in someone else's head - that's on them.

Think about the times when you've seen something out of the ordinary when you've been out and about. Do you look longer at it? Does your face express your confusion about what you're seeing? It's not unusual to process new things in this way.

In the countless times I've worn heels in public, I have yet to have anyone make a negative comment about them, but yes I do get people looking at them. From many other men who wear heels, the comments they receive are almost always positive. In any case, I want them to look, we need them to look, we need this to be normalised for any men who want to wear heels. That needs every one of us to be wearing heels in public every day that we can.

If you're struggling for the confidence to wear higher heels more than you would normally do in public, use some of the strategies I've provided in these Q&A posts to help. Start out with Cuban/block heels and work your way up. Once higher Cuban/block heels are more commonplace, heels for men will get slimmer and taller and before long we may well see a day when men in stilettos won't seem so unusual at all.

When it comes to wearing heels or boots there are generally two types of men - the ones who are already out there doing it, because they just decided one day to wear them, and there are the others, like you, dear reader, who need more confidence and perhaps a different approach.

1. Buy in-store or order online?

   Get your shoes delivered to your door. Actually getting heels or boots in the first place can be a problem if you're not comfortable trying them on in a shop, though that will come in time. There are plenty of sources on the web to buy from. Just check their returns policy carefully before you buy so that if they don't fit well, you will be able to return them for a refund. Many retailers now even offer free delivery and free returns, so it really couldn't be easier.

2. Start low

   The higher the heel and the brighter and more colourful the footwear, the more attention you're going to get, so start with a pair of dark coloured low heeled boots or shoes. Initially you might feel that EVERYONE is going to look at you. That is just in your head. Wear heels made for men in the first instance if that helps it may just give you the faith to step outside and then you can build your confidence. In any case, just remember that gender is a social construct and that clothes and shoes have no gender.

3. Go out with a purpose

   Having a purpose to going out in your heels or boots will give you something to focus on other than the fact you have some different footwear on. Quick shopping trips can be useful and will get you used to being outside in heels or boots.

4. Take a short trip

   While you're still finding your feet, so to speak, you may want to avoid bumping into someone you know while trying your shoes in public. To vastly reduce this as a possibility, take a short trip outside of your local area and wear your heels or boots there. Take them with you in bag and change into them when you get there if you have to. Being able to do this will give you lots more confidence quickly.

5. Don't over-think it

   Before you step outside you'll likely be running through so many scenarios of what MIGHT happen... almost all of it won't happen and if you've already built up your confidence by the time it does happen, you will be ready to handle it. As Susan Jeffers, Author of 'Feel the Fear (and do it anyway)' says "the only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it".

6. Be yourself & act normally

   You are doing something normal, it's just not normal to you... yet, so that may feel a little odd at first. Just go about your business "as if" you have always worn the heels you have on, even if you have not. If someone does mention your shoes (it's quite unlikely actually), then just say you've always worn heels, that it's just your style and you like to be individual.

You're stronger thank you think you are. You've got this!

ABC News reports in Australia on the debate for the Religious Discrimination Bill where Stephen Jones MP delivered an emotional speech in parliament highlighting the struggles the LGBTQIA community they face every day, highlighting in particular his own son Paddy, who frequently wears gender non-conforming clothes, including high heels.

Original URL: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-02-10/paddy-stephen-jones-son-speech/100819064

Hungry for more profiles about men in heels and boots? Look no further...

(Numbers are followers as at time of writing)

Criteria for selection:

1. More than 500 followers, but less than 1,000
2. Post frequently with their own content
3. Consistently promote a variety of mainstream fashion for men in heels or boots
4. Profile is free of adult themes, underwear, fetish and sexualisation of footwear

These are just the profiles which we have found while looking for men in heels and boots. If you know of more (that meet the criteria above), please let us know!

If you can get past the click-bait title without blowing a blood-vessel, Jill Maurer (@jillmaurerdesigner) presents an honest and entertaining video, explaining why “Men can’t wear heels”... or can they? You’ll have to watch it and find out!

Original URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=YgVuvWc-jCI